HELP, My Man is out of COOKIES!!
After 32 years of marriage,
a empty cookie jar, could be grounds for a....... DE-VORCE.....
(dramatic music swelling in the back ground)
scene spans to puzzled face of hubby as he glances in the empty jar.....
"Gladys" (...name changed to protect the lazy!) He asks:
"Where's my cookies? You know.... I can't get to sleep unless I get my cookies first!"
Gladys (aka ME) gasps & grabs onto her/my Diamond/cubic necklace & wipes one hand on her/my frilly apron/grubby T-shirt & nervously tucks a stray hair from her/my perfectly groomed/wild blond/black hair & licks her/my ruby red/chap stick covered cupid/big lips, and proceeds to defend her/my sorry actions!
"oh I am so sorry dear!" "I have been so busy preserving our home grown produce & decorating our quint little home & ironing all your t-shirts & socks, rotating the tires on your Hummer & de-fleaing Spot & cooking all those Delicious gourmet meals & not to mention picking up your gift for your girlfriend's birthday, That I simply ran out of time! I am ever so sorry/ticked you asked!"
Hubby gives a long suffering sigh...says:
"OH Gladys......You have some 'splainin to do!"
Scene pans back to real life........
"Rosie"...."Rosie"..."Yo Rosie"....WAKE UP!
Kevy asks: "are you having that "Gladys & Jerky husband" day dream again?"
.... how many times do I have to tell you, baby....I don't have a Hummer & our dog's name is not SPOT! And it's all good about the cookies......I'll eat the pie!
Whooh, DE-VORCE AVOIDED!
BUT, JUST to be safe....
I made Kevy some cookies!
OK ...sorry....I fancy myself a trashy book novelist!......... ANY WAY
HERE is MY AWESOME recipe created by MY own big, bright, beautiful, brain! It is for THEE PERFECT cutout sugar cookie!.....GUARANTEED to produce the yummiest, softest cookie ever!
IF You love your sugar cookie soft, like granny B's ...then this is the recipe for YOU!
NANA ROSIE'S BUTTERMILK SUGAR COOKIE
(This recipe has got 10 sticky thumbs up from my grand babies)
~1 cup butter softened
~1 cup Shortening
~3 C white Sugar
~2 large eggs
~2tsp baking soda
~4 tsp Baking Powder
~4 HEAPING tsp Nutmeg
~1 tsp salt
~3 cups Buttermilk
~2 tsp Pure Vanilla
~8 cups Flour
Cream Butter & shortening & sugar together in a mixer. When creamy add in eggs & mix well. Place the flour in a sifter, add the baking soda & baking powder & salt & nutmeg, sift into a bowl.
Add about 1/4th of the flour at a time with mixer on low, then add 1/4 cup of buttermilk at a time. Repeat until all is blended & dough is a soft dough. This recipe is BETTER if the dough sits in the fridge for at least 2 hours(the cookie is bigger)....BUT it works fine if you are in a hurry to eat them! Flour your board very heavily, add about 1/4 the of the dough on the board, roll into about 1 inch thick, and cut into desired shapes. Bake in 375 oven for only about 8-10 minutes(depending on your oven) THESE do NOT need to Brown, in fact, Brown is too done, it makes them crispy. This cookie will only puff slightly higher then your cut, so sure the thickness is the size you want them. These cookies freeze REALLY, REALLY well! BUT they need to be frozen UN FROSTED!
I have used this recipe to make every shaped cookie known to man!
OK that MAY be a slight embellishment on numbers there. BUT... I have cut out many fun shapes for my grand babies! SOOOO this recipe is perfect for that HALLOWEEN shaped cookie, with fluffy orange frosting AND lots of silly pumpkin sprinkles that is.......IF your TOO chicken to take my " POISON PIE" (recipe coming!) to your Halloween party!