Happy Birthday Old Lady! Here's a Freaking FUNNY "OLD AGE" survival candy kit for YOU!

Today is one of my dearest, OLDEST, friend's Birthday!
My gal pal Sheri turned 50 today!

SOOOO I had to put together a "old age" kit for her!
I mean she is sooooo sweet, I HAD to make it just as SWEET for her!
I think you all might like my poem & message I made up for her
AND I being the
"silly gifts Queen" will share it with you! PLEASE.......feel free to use it for when your friend has a "milestone" Birthday!
Hint: for a "GUY" I used the BIG HUNK bar AND the "CHUNKY" bar to get in a good dig!
(I wrote: To say you went from "HUNK'y to "CHUNKY" would be so WRONG!" MEOW!)
HINT: I also liked the "black "CROWS" candy
(I wrote: Really...NO ONE think's your "CROWS" feet are that noticeable)

YOUR WELCOME! & Yes, I still have friends!

I did not have time to take a picture of the complete kit! Sorry:(
(party was @ 6:00 tonight, did not get home until 4:00from work....HURRY!!)
BUT I will just tell you what I did.

I started with a handled cardboard box......
Did my take(Ol' school) scrape booking on it!
You know...... a couple of different paper choices ADDED
a couple of sparkly, sticky back letters that said:
"SHERI'S old age kit"
modge podge the heck outta it!...... and TA-DA-DA!

A silly gift for the aged!

Here's the Poem:
(you just need to add the candy bars, most of those can be found at your local food store. The "snaps are old school & I had to hunt for those! Did you know.....I'm not sure if they make OLD FASHIONED lifesaver rolls any more! I had to buy a small bag of individual wrapped ones! UGH! .......Add a bow & this poem & your done!)



When old age creeps upon you & you dread another Birthday.
We thought this reminder would help you every PAINFUL step of the way!
So here's an "OLD AGE" survival kit.
We know it's the Birthday gift that's sure to fit!



CANDY KISSES: To make "KISSING" your youth good-by sweeter!

MINT: To remind you what you "MINT" to get upstairs!?

BUTTERFINGERS: Because that's what will happen to yours! hee-hee!

NUTS: To remind your not going "NUTS" ........it's just your Hormones!

PAYDAY candy bar: To remind to be frugal now, cause the only "PAYDAY" you'll get now is your Social security CHECKS!

REESE PIECES: To remind you to BE GRATEFUL....At least your not falling COMPLETELY to "PIECES"! YET!

SNAPS & CRUNCH (bar): That's the sound your knees AND back are starting to make when you get up!

LOOK bar: To eat while you "LOOK" for your GLASSES or the REMOTE!

EXTRA GUM: To remind you from now on.....SADDLY you probably have to "GUM" your food!

SNICKERS: To remind you. YOU used to "SNICKER" at the Depends & Fiber commercials & NOW you find them informative!

ROLOS: Don't feel bad.....the "ROLOS" around your middle are perfectly normal for someone your age!

WHATCAMACALLIT: The word you use, when you can't remember your Children or Friends names!

LIFESAVERS: To remind you.... at your age...you never know.....it's best to JUST put "911" on sped Dial!
(help I've fallen & can't get up!)



So enjoy this handy little kit we made for you today.
BUT we have one more thing to say......
May the Angel of Death your soul NOT take,
AL LEAST until we eat that BIG OL" Birthday cake!

HA-HA..... Your older then US!
Happy Birthday Friend!





Kinda SMARMY I know...... PLEASE don't hit me....or give me this lame poem
WHEN I turn 50......a LONG time from now!.... A VERY, VERY long time from now!
BUT I think my friend Sheri knows me well enough to know that "SMARMY" is my MIDDLE name! AND She still loves me none the less!
I Love your gut's miss Sheri & wish you a happy day!